My Experience With the 6 Myths of Grief

“I didn’t even know I was grieving for so long”

When I lost my six-year-old daughter Marie in July 2023, I thought I understood grief. What I didn't realize was that I had been grieving for years—grieving the life I had expected for us, the milestones we'd never reach, the dreams that shifted when she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.

Looking back, I can see how these common myths about grief kept me stuck, not just after her passing, but throughout her entire life. If you're walking through loss of any kind, these misconceptions might be holding you back too.

Myth 1: Time Heals All Wounds

For years, people told me that time would make things easier. But time alone did nothing. Day after day, the pain just seemed to accumulate—one day after another with more weight, more questions, more ache.

It wasn't until I started to actively address my grief that healing began. Time is just a container. What we do within that time—how we tend to our hearts, seek support, and honor our pain—that's what creates the possibility for healing.

Myth 2: You Have to Be Strong for Others

I carried this myth heavily, especially as a mother. I thought I had to be strong for my kids, to shield them from my pain. To prove that I had strong faith. I believed that showing my emotions would somehow damage them or make things worse.

But I was given some of the best advice: don't be afraid to let them see you cry. When I finally allowed myself to be vulnerable in front of my children, something beautiful happened. We talked about it, and it was incredibly freeing—for all of us. What I thought I needed to keep to myself actually became a bridge to deeper connection and understanding.

Your strength isn't measured by your ability to hide your pain. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is let others see your heart.

Myth 3: Don't Talk About It—You'll Make It Worse

For too long, I kept my deepest struggles private. I was afraid that speaking about my grief—about the life I had imagined, the fears I carried, the overwhelming love mixed with exhaustion—would somehow make it all more real, more painful. I felt like I may be judged for wanting life to look different than it did.

The opposite was true. When I finally decided to share my story in the safe spaces that had alwasy been there, the weight began to lift. Your grief deserves to be witnessed, not hidden away.

Myth 4: Grief Only Happens When Someone Dies

This myth kept me from recognizing my own experience for what it was. For the full six years of Marie's life, I didn't know I was grieving. I was grieving the life I had expected, the typical childhood milestones, the future I had envisioned.

Grief isn't just about death—it's about any significant loss. The relationship that ended, the job that didn't work out, the health you once had, the dreams that took a different shape. All of it matters. All of it deserves acknowledgment.

Myth 5: You Should Be "Over It" By Now

There's no timeline for grief, no schedule for healing. Whether you're processing a recent loss or one from years ago, your journey is valid exactly as it is. Some days will surprise you with their difficulty, and that's not a step backward—it's part of the path.

Myth 6: If I Ignore the Pain, It Will Go Away

I tried this approach for years. I stayed busy, focused on everyone else's needs, pushed through each day without stopping to feel. But ignoring pain doesn't make it disappear—it just makes it wait. Thankfully, I had wonderful people in my life who helped me recognize that addressing my grief wasn't weakness—it was necessary. It was the beginning of true healing.

Your Journey Matters

If any of this resonates with you, know that you're not alone. Grief is complex, personal, and often misunderstood—even by ourselves. But there is hope, and there is a path forward.

Ready to explore these myths more deeply?

I've created a comprehensive guide that walks through each of these misconceptions with compassion and practical wisdom. Download "6 Grief Myths That Hold Us Back" and take the first brave step toward healing.

Download 6 Myths of Grief HERE

At Amarie Healing, we believe in grace for the grieving and space for healing—because your story matters, and so does your healing.